Everything I thought had changed about me hasn’t really changed at all. I’ve been planning this elaborate happening for someone special to me, but to even go through with it now would almost be cruel. I’d be promising that I’m someone I’ll probably never become. I’m just me, always will be. I’m the same mess that can’t be sorted out. And to think I could have possibly been sorted for one human being. Love just isn’t real for me. It’s just a coping mechanism. When it’s convenient for me, I love people. And when it’s not, I stop. I don’t understand unconditional love because it’s genuinely conditional for me.
I’m happy alone. Breaking down every time my life gets too crowded just proves it. I truly am a solitary creature. I don’t like people, and I don’t want people to like me.
It was arrogant, anyway, to think that this person I’ve been planning to spoil would even be touched by my effort to spoil them anyway. They’re probably expecting the same humdrum treatment I’ve always given them. Anything more would just be confusing. I’m not as grand or romantic as I sometimes try to be, so why am I even trying? What the fuck is wrong with me?
I fucking hate my life. I am doing everything I never wanted to be doing right now. I didn’t want school. I didn’t want responsibilities. I didn’t want people depending on me. I wanted none of this. I hate it so much. I am literally about to break. I am not good at this shit. I’m a solitary creature. I’m not supposed to be in this position, so why the fuck am I? I’m so fucking miserable. I. Want. To. Die.
1. Stupidly dramatic…
2. WHAT THE FUCK I AM NOT COOL WITH THIS FUCKING SASUKE CANT JUST BE FUCKIG OKAY.??? FUCK HIS COMPLEXES I AM SO OVER HIS SHIT I CANT BREATHE.
3. I kind of think its right though. I mean, it’s Sasuke’s character, y’know?